Celebrity Chasers T-Shirts

Man selling 'Maps to Stars for $5.00' next to lady selling 'Maps to People with 15 Minutes of Fame for 50 Cents'.

Street vendor selling 'Maps to stars' stalkers'.

Line of men waiting for Anna Nicole Smith.

Parents start infant on the way to fame.

'We're not paprazzi. We're your parents.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"He's deliciously vintage."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

All-Candy Seder.

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Hollywood or bust!

Frank Zappa

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

Skinhead guppy.

'Something that'll get me googled,'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

As Seen On TV

The Daily Fury

Restraining orders from the stars.

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.