Celebrity Buzz Chaser Pillows

"Wow, you're from Beehive 22! Your Queen features a lot in the gossip magazines..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'How fast can you hype?'

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Hollywood or bust!

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

Skinhead guppy.

As Seen On TV

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

The Daily Fury

Signing cage.

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Five minutes, General."

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"