Celebrity Chef Chaser Prints

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

How I met your mother

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Get me public relations!'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Hollywood or bust!

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

TV Chef Cooking Range

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

As Seen On TV

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."