Cautious Kid Gifts

'So you're the boy who wants to be a health and safety officer.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Jr. cloning kit

No Immediate Danger

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

Honey Wallah

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'Dad, what is peace?'

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Boy flying boxed kite with bird's nest in it.

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'

G.P.S. For the Home

Museum of Anthropology. Did Neanderthals carry backpacks?

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

'I told you this would make a lousy birthday present.'

Mishap at a nano technology lab on bring-your-child-to-work day.

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

Funky Facts - UK kids.

"Yesterday's weather forecast was wrong. Is that what is meant when they say 'fake news'?"

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?