Mistrustful Kid Gifts

"I never trusted a man who wears a mask."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Jr. cloning kit

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Honey Wallah

"It's a mobile."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Museum of Anthropology. Did Neanderthals carry backpacks?

G.P.S. For the Home

Boy flying boxed kite with bird's nest in it.

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

Kid drops his 13 flavor ice cream cone

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"