Cattle Breeder Gifts

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

New Guy.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

Puppies

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Good, but not Great Danes.

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

An inbred poodle.