Livestock Breeder Gifts

A cattle baron.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

Puppies

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Sick Rancher Humor

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Good, but not Great Danes.

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

An inbred poodle.

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

Dog Show: Worst of Breed