Breeders Gifts

'Here comes the pimp.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Puppies

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Good, but not Great Danes.

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Dog Calenders.

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

An inbred poodle.