Dog Breeder Gifts

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

'Yes, we DO have a special price for breeders. Ten percent more than anybody else!"

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'I never tell a dog breeder that she's wrong...'

Dog show success

'Wait a moment...I said a pair of dogs...not a pair of chihuahuas, a pair of poodles, a pair of beagles, a pair of...'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

I need some help on how to fill my kennels. 'Let me give you a few pointers.'

Why Greyhounds aren't used as guide dogs

'Looks like another obedience school gave up.'

'Generalized alopecia?? This is a Chinese Crested, Doctor Kendall, and I brought her in for a bath.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Fred thought he was following orders when he began the war on terriers.

Ah-Choo!

Canine Speed Dating.

The poodle plague of 1712 crippled France's overpriced dog industry for decades.

'Some of my income comes from stud fees, the majority comes from begging.'

Botox sharpei

"That's because it's inbred."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'I suggest you reconsider your approach to responsible dog breeding.'

Agility Champion Show Off

Dog Show

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

"He's very faithful. I've sold him five times and he always comes back."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Believe me.... it's times like these that your pedigree comes into question!"

Greyhound/Retired Greyhound

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Good Dane/Great Dane

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

An inbred poodle.

"I had a hundred and six puppies with eleven different partners. I was too busy to wonder whether. I was really happy or not."