Dog Breeder T-Shirts

"They were bred originally to be hors d'oeuvres."

'Yes, we DO have a special price for breeders. Ten percent more than anybody else!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Dog show success

'I never tell a dog breeder that she's wrong...'

'Wait a moment...I said a pair of dogs...not a pair of chihuahuas, a pair of poodles, a pair of beagles, a pair of...'

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

Botox sharpei

Dog Show

'Looks like another obedience school gave up.'

'Generalized alopecia?? This is a Chinese Crested, Doctor Kendall, and I brought her in for a bath.'

Fred thought he was following orders when he began the war on terriers.

Ah-Choo!

Canine Speed Dating.

'Some of my income comes from stud fees, the majority comes from begging.'

The poodle plague of 1712 crippled France's overpriced dog industry for decades.

I need some help on how to fill my kennels. 'Let me give you a few pointers.'

Agility Champion Show Off

'I suggest you reconsider your approach to responsible dog breeding.'

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Why Greyhounds aren't used as guide dogs

"That's because it's inbred."

"You're a little too niche."

"I had to decide—am I living for the American Kennel Club, or am I living for me?"

Dog day afternoon

"I had a hundred and six puppies with eleven different partners. I was too busy to wonder whether. I was really happy or not."

An inbred poodle.

Best in Heat.

Good Dane/Great Dane

"Like a lot of Beagles, he's pretty domesticated, but there's still some of the hunter in him."

Greyhound/Retired Greyhound

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle