Dog Breeding Gifts

When Dachshunds dream.

'Yes, we DO have a special price for breeders. Ten percent more than anybody else!"

Dog show success

'Wait a moment...I said a pair of dogs...not a pair of chihuahuas, a pair of poodles, a pair of beagles, a pair of...'

'You should have explained that stuff about the birds and the bees to her instead of me.'

I need some help on how to fill my kennels. 'Let me give you a few pointers.'

'Meet my significant other.'

Pedigreed dog/Generic dog.

The poodle plague of 1712 crippled France's overpriced dog industry for decades.

"According to the pedigree, his family has been mutts for twelve generations."

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

Dog had dog show award for best working dog on his wall.

Most dog-like dog.

'Milton Kabuff, dog breeder.'

Proud Parents of 'Best in Breed' City Kennel Club.

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

The Dog Breeder and His Son

Dog Show: Most human look.

Kultural K9's.

"When I said 'get the dog a treat' I didn't mean a female."

"It's a relatively new breed. He's a West Coast Trend Setter!"

"You the guy with the puppies for sale?"

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Seriously? You do not look like a William Arthur Huffington the Third to me! Methink this is a fake pedigree..."

"We're expecting quite a litter this time."

"Oh, Fifi's 'purebred', if you catch my drift. . ."

"My date? If that's the best selective breeding can achieve, I'll only date mutts from now on..."

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

' I don't care what they do call me, you call me mom.'

"You're a little too niche."

"I had to decide—am I living for the American Kennel Club, or am I living for me?"

Best in Heat.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"

I thought I got a designer dog, but it turns out a poodledoodle is just a poodle.