Dog Breed Expert Gifts

"I'm no mongrel, I'm a labro-doodle-collie-whippet!"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

Collies Without Borders

Kultural K9's.

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Puppies

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

Dog Calenders.

Good, but not Great Danes.

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

An inbred poodle.

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle