Dog Breed Buff Gifts

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

New US laws for ferocious dogs.

"Like I said... he's a boxer."

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

Dog Calenders.

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

'He's half Pit bull and half Collie. He'll tear an arm off and go for help.'

"He was sold to me as a Weimaraner but I really think he's more of a Wisenheimer."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Doggie Bowl Drill

"Tonight I'm making spotted bass. Tomorrow night, spotted spaghetti."

"Come on now. One of you guys know how to be a SETTER."

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

Dog

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Species: A single, distinct kind of plant or animal having certain distinguishing characteristics.

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

'Sure, Lassie made us Border Collies popular, but the drawback is that people expect us to save them or run for help all the time...'

'Bad news, Billy Bob! The tests show that your phantom is a contagious equine meteitis carrier.'

'He's a mixed breed.'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"Boxer Shorts"

'Trouble is he's not a dalmatian.'

"It's a relatively new breed. He's a West Coast Trend Setter!"

"I'm tripping over bernedoodles, labradoodles, goldendoodles, schnoodles and cockapoos, ...and you want me to somehow believe you're not sleeping around?"

A tough dog scratches and barks.

Before you ask...he's a neopolitan mastiff.

"Mom was a zebra, but Dad was an ass."

"For goodness sake Dad, he's not a hippy: He's an Afghan Greyhound!"

Bulldog intimidates judge at dog show.