Canine Expert Gifts

'Muffy and I are here for the 'Speed Obedience' course...!'

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

Dog Igloo.

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

'I signed him up in obedience school, but all he did was play hooky.'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Dog's Loo

"What happened to what cat?"

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

Ophiologist

"Sit!"

"It isn't quite how I pictured it, either."

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"He said eat some grass and call him in the morning."

Sometimes he rubbed her the wrong way - which really rubbed her the wrong way.

Discipline at Doggy School

Doctor Ernie, Animal Scientist, Answers Your Questions. A reader in Colorado asks "When should a colt be weaned from its mother?" A foal and his mommy are soon parted!

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

So your idea is that we reorientate our global production to place more emphasis on small chewy things that taste of meat...EVERYBODY'S opinion is of value( even if some may be of more use than others)

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

'And this is Mr Blagstock our chief salesman.'

"Instead of chasing them like a madman, just ask the squirrels if they’d like to play with you."

"I found it. It's catnip for the 5th anniversary and scratching post on the 10th."

"Humans are strange."

'Oh no, I don't do my own mating fights anymore: Meet my champion...'

"I'm an elephant podiatrist-what do you do?"

'Junior! Get down from there! You're not arboreal!'

'It's heat exhaustion! She's in heat and he's exhausted.'

I'll bark, and you bark the first thing that comes to mine.'