Breeder Gifts

How Dogs Are Born

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'Well, Martha, there goes the end of our virgin wool.'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'He was bred for sniffing out drugs.'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Lunch is served at the Kennel Club

Non-virgin llama wool available.

'I am fed up all I get is rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!'

'Well yes, technically, I'm a Sheep-Dog, but I've never been near a farm, let alone a sheep...'

'I can't be sure, but. . . I think the sheep maybe interbreeding!'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle