Animal Breeder Gifts

"No, there's nothing wrong with her. Daisy here has been bred only to produce skimmed milk."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"Why don't they come up with a breed that'll live longer?"

"I swear, he's my half brother: he's a mule you see..."

'Now, to get her pregnant, we'll have to use some hormone therapy.'

'Come on, you can tell me: I've had so many pregnancies, I'm an expert at weird cravings...'

'What sort of mix is she?'

'He faked an orgasm.'

Snake Breeding Program...KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING! Welcome all ye who slither here

'I am fed up all I get is rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Collies Without Borders

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Kultural K9's.

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

Puppies

"His father came from a family of climbers."

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

The worm that churned!

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Fred and Nancy believed that their mutual love of a good sale would be enough to overcome 'the species issue'... but they were wrong.

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."