Cattle Farmer Gifts

'They are completely free of growth hormones.'

'I love herd mentality, don't you?'

Tattoo removal - cow has 'Eldorado rance' on his backside.

"Dear, I'd like you to meet the Holsteins."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'No use crying over spilt milk.'

"Very impressive. I'd like to find five thousand more like you."

'Before we treat any more steers with hormone implants...'

Cattle farmer's super-market

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"And now read the bottom sirloin, farmer Brown."

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

Tattoo Removal: Property of the El Dorado Ranch

'Beefalo' - Breeding cattle and buffalo.

Farmer to son: 'For heaven's sake Jeb! Get Bessie out of that tall grass now! Can't you see she's full of ticks?!'

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

The Green Grass Zone

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'

Shows at 6 am and 6 pm daily.

Is she flicking me the hoof?

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Farmyard Scene

"Do you know how many cows it takes to make all these burgers?"

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Prize vegetables.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

International Women's Day.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.