Cow Farming Gifts

'Here comes the pimp.'

'She says her stomachs ache.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

"Black or white, Vicar?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Cow's straw

Motorherd

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"They’re real."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Pull the udder one

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

Kamikaze Colour

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Milkin' Impossible

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'