Cattle Breeder T-Shirts

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

New Guy.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"His father came from a family of climbers."

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

Puppies

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

Good, but not Great Danes.

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

An inbred poodle.

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.