Carlin Fan Gifts

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State...."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Under pressure.

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Hurray! I just got born!"

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'

'Sure big shot. You SAY you can cross the road, but talk is cheep...cheep,cheep.'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Dogs and Chickens

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"I liked this camel. I'm gonna miss him. I'm getting all choked up."

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Man domesticates the chicken (centuries later, eggs were found to be edible).

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

"Why have you come over here?"

"Did you order takeout?"

Guide Dogs

A Migrating Chicken

Lancelot put to the Test.

"She's had work done on those."

'Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to see a mirage every now and again...'

Raccoon receiving IV of garbage.

"Funnily enough, although Rex said I was "too chicken to try", I made the sensible choice..."

Battery Chicken.

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Don't worry, if we are attaked I will always put you first.'

GUESS YOUR WEIGHT, but lie to make you feel better!