Raven Fan Gifts

"Please confine your testimony to "Yes" or "No" answers and skip the "Nevermore" stuff, OK?"

"As a harbinger of doom, you're a little late."

"And you can quote me on that."

That one has all the batteries!

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

The Raven in Flight

Mars Rover

'Dad, this is so cool: Next month is a Blue Moon month, with two full moons instead of one!'

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

Little pig #2 makes himself a less desireable meal.

'Nevermore.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"For goddness' sake, Poe - let the bird in so we can all get some sleep!"

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had used to have a very shinysun-seekingtreacherouscharitablefame-seeking mobile nose

"Can you perform under pressure?"

Rudolph wasn't the only one who used to like to play Reindeer Games.

Edgar Allan Poe

"I remember the time a cat came down here. We scared the hell out of him."

A heat wave threatens an old woman.

"Vote the Raven: 'Never Trump!'"

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

"How's this? 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore, unquoth.' "

For Crying Out Loud I Am Not Rudolph

"Just how powerful of a fan did you put in your computer?"