Clancy Fan Gifts

BOOKSHOP, 'Are you sure you want that, sir? - You don't really look like the Tom Clancy type.'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"Eat my dust!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

'What's that funny smell?'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

The tortoise and hare

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

Weather forecast

Child puts his finger in a dam to prevent it flooding.

The tortoise and the hare - Aesop's fables.

'Your you is unzipped.'

"Yeah, I used to ride a bicycle in the circus, but the gag was that it was way too small for me: kids loved the act..."

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

"Now you've done it!"

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"I've seen every goddam film ever made...twice! What the hell am I supposed to do now??"

"Sire, the barbarian's are no longer at the gate...they're inside it!"

"They've always scared the hell out of me."

'Is it faster than a hare?'

The Emperor's New Speedo