Car Crash Storyteller Gifts

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'How the heck could we lose a $14,000 pacemaker?!'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'How was my emergency stop?'

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

"I can help you - I'm a para-legal."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

'It doesn't work...'

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

"And hold the mayo."

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

"We can't go on meeting like this. It's costing you a fortune in repairs."

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

'I'm afraid its a classic case of seaside blowback.'

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'Don't get involved.'

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

On this Day in 1959 Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob Muscovitch, a Detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'Maybe his name is Sue?'

'Look dad! - Mercedes bends!'

'You call that teaching?'

"Don't worry. The mechanic says he can fix the car as soon as he gets it out of the wall."

Dinosaur crossing sign.

'Your call is important to us - please hold while we connect you to an advisor.'

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.