Car Accident Survivor Gifts

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Big slipper.

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'This is your lucky day!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Sporting maladies.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'You've got a broken finger.'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"