Motor Mishap Survivor Gifts

'Oh come now-you don't think it will be that easy, do you?'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Barbeque Casualty.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Big slipper.

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'This is your lucky day!'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

In case of stock market crash break glass.

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'In defense of rotten movies, they DO have the remarkable ability to make it seem like maybe your life isn't flying by that fast after all!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Sling

Traffic Jam.

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

'...in conclusion, we're in the wrong meeting room.'

Road Construction Blues.

'What are YOU doing here?'

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"