Bike Crash Survivor Gifts

"I figured out why your car was pulling to the right."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

Gary turns 40.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

Sporting maladies.

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

A man with a rake on a desert island

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'You've got a broken finger.'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

Desert Island Bagpipes

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'What luck! Just the doctor I was going to refer you to.'

Cruise ship's captain complains God didn't save his hat.

"I just feel like a cliche."

Traffic Jam.

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

Sling

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!