Car Crash Commentator Gifts

'Maybe his name is Sue?'

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

'How was my emergency stop?'

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Cluster Catastrophe

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

'It doesn't work...'

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"And hold the mayo."

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

Highway: tourist and resident traps.

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

'Don't get involved.'

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'Bob, call you back. A big auto body job just drove in.'

"Don't worry. The mechanic says he can fix the car as soon as he gets it out of the wall."

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

Dinosaur crossing sign.

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

"Wow! I didn't think we were going to make it through that gap!"