Canon Connoisseur Gifts

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'At last - A nice quiet place to hatch these eggs.' 'Ready.....Aim....'

How the Apocrypha Came to Be

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

The Family Joules: Part 21

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Seven

Dog Walker

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

Apothecary. Tell us what ails you. We'll concoct a chemical mix to dissolve in water which will fix you. Every problem has solution!

Malcolm Sargent