Canned Connoisseur Gifts

It's Tinned !

Tartine

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Canape?

Pet Entertainers

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Dog Walker

With Compliments

Shaved Ice

Next Round Indicator

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"You know damn well what noise!"

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

Christmas Canapes

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

Man tries to remove a cocktail umbrella.

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

Spring Water

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"I'm married but I'm separated."