Canning Connoisseur Gifts

'Nothing but veggies...we gotta learn to read.'

Tartine

Counting ribs

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Instructional guide to scribbling

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Canape?

Pet Entertainers

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

Music Hall Dancers

With Compliments

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

About the potter.

"You know damn well what noise!"

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

Christmas Canapes

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

"And then in Italy Paola's collection of canned tomatoes is unrivaled"

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

All I can say is, thank goodness for nametags. Penne. Bowtie. Ziti. Fettuccini. Rotini. Campanelle.

'What a gorgeous mug. Did you make that by hand... or by foot?'