Can-opening Connoisseur Gifts

Pet Entertainers

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

Tartine

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Canape?

Dog Walker

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Shaved Ice

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

With Compliments

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

About the potter.

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

"You know damn well what noise!"

Moliere

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Christmas Canapes

C Day Lewis.

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

Rishi Sunak

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

Book Store. I'm looking for a book on remodeling kitchen cabinets. Ah --- A "shelf-improvement" book!

'What a gorgeous mug. Did you make that by hand... or by foot?'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark