Can-opening Connoisseur T-Shirts

Pet Entertainers

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

Tartine

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

Canape?

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

Dog Walker

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

With Compliments

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Shaved Ice

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

About the potter.

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"You know damn well what noise!"

Moliere

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Christmas Canapes

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

Rishi Sunak

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'What a gorgeous mug. Did you make that by hand... or by foot?'

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)