Can Connoisseur Gifts

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Tartine

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Canape?

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Pet Entertainers

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

With Compliments

"You know damn well what noise!"

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

S**t Threw a Goose

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

Moliere

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Christmas Canapes

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Charles Dickens.

C Day Lewis.

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

The Croucho Club

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.