Canned Cuisine Connoisseur Gifts

TACO

Man: 'What the...?!' (Internet Spam comes out of a can of spam to the horror of the purchaser.)

Lunch with Wally: 'Need a napkin?'

Tartine

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Canape?

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

Too much cilantro

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

A Day In The Kitchen

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

The Official Covid-19 Diet

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Regular service or affected?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

With Compliments

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.