Canned Connoisseur Pillows

It's Tinned !

Tartine

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Canape?

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Dog Walker

Pet Entertainers

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Next Round Indicator

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Shaved Ice

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

With Compliments

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

"You know damn well what noise!"

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

Christmas Canapes

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

Man tries to remove a cocktail umbrella.

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

Spring Water

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"I'm married but I'm separated."