Canon Connoisseur Pillows

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

'At last - A nice quiet place to hatch these eggs.' 'Ready.....Aim....'

How the Apocrypha Came to Be

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Dog Walker

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

Malcolm Sargent

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"