Channel Connoisseur Gifts

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Film Lovers.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Jack Nicholson

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

Moliere

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

C Day Lewis.

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Roger Moore

You talking to me?

Ennio Morricone RIP

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

Social Media Strategy Session. The more friends and family people see on our site, the personal information they'll post. Familiarity breeds content!