Channel Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Film Lovers.

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Moliere

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

Charles Dickens.

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Robert Denarii: 'You talin' to me.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Do you know what the interest on you adjustable-rate mortgage is?

Ennio Morricone RIP

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."