Canine Landlord Gifts

"I put it on AirBnB it for the weekend."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'That was fun!'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog Walking Services

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'No ice.'

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

Dog Nightmares

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Love a Mutt

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Haute Suture