Canine Landlord Gifts

"I put it on AirBnB it for the weekend."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog Walking Services

'That was fun!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'No ice.'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"And where have you previously moused?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Love a Mutt

'Super Dog'

Haute Suture

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."