Funny Landlords Gifts

"Hey, the landlad is here to fix the sink."

'Are we there yet?'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Is the fire included?'

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

William and Real Estate

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

Real estate.

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

Oh, Wow! With all this baby food flying around, I can't wait until he starts eating steak!!!

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

The lessor of two evils.

'Water is included with rent.'

'Give them lager and sunglasses.'

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."

'A thief stole your key? Rats, I'll have to change the lock and reissue keys to the thousands of tenants...'

"... It's a housing bubble."

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

'That house is a fixer upper. Are you handy with a checkbook?'