Canine Critic Gifts

Dog Food Testing Lab.

"This isn't tap water, is it?"

'I'm more of a cat person.'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"This is better than taking the dog for a walk."

"That's OK, they're not yelling at each other! They're yelling at the TV: a politician is giving a speech..."

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Four Star Meal

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Dog's Loo

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

Sick Exhibitionist

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'I like it.'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"