Pet Critic Gifts

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

Pet Cemetery.

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Sick Exhibitionist

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

Seal hunters cutting a hole in the ice, while a seal cuts a hole around the hunters.

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

'I like it.'

A dog sits at her typwriter

The Thinker and The Stinker

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

The message was clear: Pay up or die. Or maybe it was: Change the water.

'A dog learns about the flyer that was used to find him.'

'You mean to tell me neither candidate supports a ban on doggy sweaters?!'

Dog Food Testing Lab.

Honk If You Hate Cats

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

"Ooh - that one was a bit gamey."

"Well. . . I guess there will be no offspring, but at least I will save on the tuition fees."

It is not enough that I receive a treat. The dog must also be deprived of one.

Dog chasing tire from auto accident.