Cat Critic Gifts

Honk If You Hate Cats

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Sick Exhibitionist

"A cat wouldn't answer."

"The more I read about these cats the less I care for them."

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

Biofelineism

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

What does aloof mean?

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'Oh come on! I can't be that bad!'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'