Canine Critics Gifts

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"Don't judge till you've been up a tree."

Great movie. I wagged, I whined.

'I like it.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Four Star Meal

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Dog's Loo

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

Sick Exhibitionist

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"It's an exact replica of the kind of zoo they would usually live in."

"A cat wouldn't answer."

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

The Thinker and The Stinker

"That was a silly way to split the dung Fred! How are we supposed to roll our share home now?"

The message was clear: Pay up or die. Or maybe it was: Change the water.

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."