Canine Concert Critics Gifts

"Wow, do you think his singing would be bearable if we only had human hearing?"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

When the Dalmatian ran away, he was spotted two blocks from home.

"I lost the groove."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'I like it.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Concert Pianist "Almost finished."

The Thinker and The Stinker

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

'He has a flair for the dramatic when I ask him to play dead.'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"Let's start the polygraph test with an easy question — Are you a good boy?"

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

Dog Food Testing Lab.

"The music was so loud I couldn't hear myself talk."

"Did you hear that?! That reporter just said the same ingredients in artificial meat is is found in pet foods!"

"I don't care what nine out of ten breeders say - this dog hates it."

It is not enough that I receive a treat. The dog must also be deprived of one.

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

My dog's personal line of fragrances.

'On the other hand, I really don't do that much reading.'

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

'Ralph swears this dog eats better than he does.'

'Has this slop you fed me been checked for e-coli?'