Canine Concert Critics Gifts

"Wow, do you think his singing would be bearable if we only had human hearing?"

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

When the Dalmatian ran away, he was spotted two blocks from home.

"I lost the groove."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Pianist being pelted with tomatoes.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'I like it.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Concert Pianist "Almost finished."

"Let's start the polygraph test with an easy question — Are you a good boy?"

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

'He has a flair for the dramatic when I ask him to play dead.'

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

Dog Food Testing Lab.

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

My dog's personal line of fragrances.

"The music was so loud I couldn't hear myself talk."

"I don't care what nine out of ten breeders say - this dog hates it."

"Did you hear that?! That reporter just said the same ingredients in artificial meat is is found in pet foods!"

'On the other hand, I really don't do that much reading.'

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

'Ralph swears this dog eats better than he does.'

'Has this slop you fed me been checked for e-coli?'

"I love it when dogs work on their stupid."