Canine Cuisine Critic Gifts

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'Has this slop you fed me been checked for e-coli?'

'Ralph swears this dog eats better than he does.'

"I don't care what nine out of ten breeders say - this dog hates it."

"Did you hear that?! That reporter just said the same ingredients in artificial meat is is found in pet foods!"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"We need to put in more bones."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Dog Chow Mein

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Four Star Meal

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

'I'm starved. Instead of a fly in my soup, make it a mouse.'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"