Canine Cuisine Enthusiast Gifts

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

"The meal was superb...My compliments to the shep."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Dog Chow Mein

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

"Did you hear that?! That reporter just said the same ingredients in artificial meat is is found in pet foods!"

"I don't care what nine out of ten breeders say - this dog hates it."

Cooking shows for dogs

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."