Canine Cuisine Connoisseur Gifts

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"We'll have the people food."

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"The dog refuses to eat his dinner."

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dog Park Zoom

"What's all this?"

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Dog Sees Only Food

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

"Fresh-raked leaves?"