Canine Cuisine Critics Gifts

"Pedigree is cool. I'm more of an Iams man myself."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"They can put dogs in space, but they can't make decent tasting dog food."

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Dog Chow Mein

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"We need to put in more bones."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Four Star Meal

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

Recipes.

-'God that looks disgusting.' -'You're telling me.'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'I like it.'

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"