Canine Culture Critic Gifts

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

K9 Literati.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

"This ham bone did not have much meat on it by the time I met it, but it tasted of meat, and for that I am eternally grateful."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'I bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep, bark, eat, sleep! There has to be more than that!'

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

'I like it.'

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

Oh, jeez, I should remember this guy! How do I sniff him without him knowing I'm sniffing him?

"The question should be, do PEOPLE go to heaven?"

Doggy Peer Pressure

Dalmatian Tattoos

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'For you, the meaning of life is 'eat, play, sleep'.'

'One of their years equals around two of our months. That's why it takes them so long to learn anything.'

I Wonder if They can Think…

The Thinker and The Stinker